The size depends on the quantity of ashes being stored. Our sizing guide can help determine the most suitable option.
How to Choose the Right Urn
A calm, modern guide to help you choose an urn that feels right, fits your needs, and sits beautifully within the home.
How to Choose the Right Urn
Choosing an urn can feel unexpectedly overwhelming.
For many families, it is one of the first significant decisions made after losing someone important. Questions about size, style, materials, and where the urn will live can quickly make the process feel more complicated than expected.
The good news is that there is no single “right” urn.
The best choice is usually the one that feels appropriate for your loved one, works naturally within your home, and gives you a sense of comfort when you see it each day.
This guide will walk you through the key decisions in the order that matters most, helping you move forward with greater clarity and confidence.
Four Questions That Matter Most
Most families can make a confident decision once four things become clear
How Much Ash Will I Be Storing?
The amount of ashes determines the size of urn required and often narrows the available options considerably
How will the ashes be kept?
Will all ashes remain together, be shared between family members, or will a portion be scattered?
Where will the urn live?
The location often influences the style, shape, and size that feels most appropriate
What feels right?
The best urn is rarely chosen by measurements alone. It is usually the one that feels right when you see it in your home
STEP 1
What Size Urn Do I Need?
One of the biggest surprises for many families is the size of a full-size urn.
Adult ashes typically require significantly more space than most people expect. This is why understanding size should always be the starting point.
Large Urns
A full-size urn is designed to hold the complete ashes of one adult.
These are the most common choice when families wish to keep ashes together in a single vessel.
Small or Keepsake Urns
Keepsake urns hold a smaller portion of ashes.
They are often chosen when ashes are being shared between family members, kept alongside a larger urn, or used for pet memorials.
Child Urns
Many smaller urn styles may be suitable for children depending on age and ash quantity. Although families can still opt for a large urn with room to add a special item inside the vessel.
Pet Urns
Pet ashes typically require a smaller vessel than an adult urn, making many keepsake and small urn styles appropriate for the home. Alternatively, scattering urns provide a dignified way to disperse a pet’s ashes in a chosen location.
Not Sure What Size You Need?
We have created a detailed sizing guide to help simplify the process.
STEP 2
How Will The Ashes Be Kept?
This next question is often less practical and more personal. How do you want to hold their memory?
How Will Ashes Be Kept?
1. Keep Ashes Together
Many families choose a full-size urn and keep all ashes together in one vessel.
This approach often feels simple, unified, and reassuring.
2. Share Ashes With Others
Some families prefer to divide ashes among siblings, children, or close relatives.
Keepsake urns allow multiple people to maintain a personal connection while sharing remembrance.
3. Scatter + Keep the Rest
Some families choose to scatter a portion while keeping the rest at home.
There is no rule about what to do with ashes and when.
STEP 3
Where Will The Urn Live?
The role of the urn has evolved significantly.
Today, many Australians are choosing urns designed to sit comfortably within everyday living spaces rather than being hidden away.
Where Will The Urn Live?
There is no rule on what room to place an urn in and it can change overtime.
Living Rooms
A console, shelf, sideboard, or bookcase often provides a natural location.
Bedrooms
Many people feel comforted by having a loved one close within a private and personal space.
Home Offices
A quiet reminder during daily life can feel grounding and reassuring.
Dedicated Spaces
Some families create a small area incorporating photographs, candles, books, or meaningful objects.
STEP 4
What Style Feels Right?
This is often where the decision becomes easier.
Once size and purpose are clear, style becomes less overwhelming.
Compare Traditional Urns to Modern Urns
Traditional urns often feature ornate detailing, metallic finishes, religious symbols, or ceremonial styling. For some families these designs feel familiar and comforting.
Modern Urns
Modern urns are designed differently.
Rather than focusing on funeral traditions, they often prioritise calmness, simplicity, texture, and how the piece feels within the home.
Common features include:
- Soft silhouettes
- Natural materials
- Neutral colours
- Matte finishes
- Contemporary forms.
Many families find these designs easier to live alongside day-to-day.
COMMON MISTAKES
When Choosing An Urn
Choosing Before Understanding Size
The wrong size can create unnecessary stress later.
Forgetting Future Plans
Consider whether ashes may be shared, moved, or scattered in the future.
Assuming An Urn Must Look Traditional
Modern urns have expanded the options available to families significantly.
Waiting For The Perfect Choice
There is no perfect choice. Only a choice that feels right to you.
Focusing Only On Appearance
The most beautiful urn may not be the most suitable if it doesn’t fit your needs.
Not Considering Where The Urn Will Sit
The home environment often influences which styles feel most comfortable over time.
Real Life Examples
Keep Mum's Ashes Together
Recommended: A large-size urn that keeps ashes altogether in one full size modern urn
Share Dad's Ashes Between Siblings
Recommended: A keepsake urn which can be one or more smaller urns or an urn set (2-3 identical urns)
Choose An Urn For A Beloved Pet
Recommended: A small-size urn which can hold up to 2.9L of ashes
Unsure What We Will Do Long Term
Recommended: A full-size urn that allows flexibility for future decisions, while keeping ashes safely together
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a keepsake urn?
A keepsake urn is a smaller vessel designed to hold a portion of ashes.
Can I keep ashes at home?
Yes. Many Australian families choose to keep ashes at home either permanently or temporarily.
Will guests know it is an urn?
Modern urns are often designed to resemble contemporary home decor and may not be immediately recognisable as memorial vessels.
Can ashes be transferred later?
Yes, many families choose to transfer ashes between urns or divide them at a later date.
What material is best?
There is no universally best material. Ceramic, timber, metal, and textured finishes each create a different aesthetic and emotional feel.
Is it normal to keep ashes at home?
Increasingly, yes. Many people find comfort in having a loved one close within everyday life. Over 70% of Australians are choosing cremation with a large number holding onto ashes in their homes.
Where should an urn be displayed?
Anywhere that feels appropriate to you. Common locations include living rooms, bedrooms, studies, and dedicated memorial spaces.
There Is No Perfect Choice
The best urn is not always the largest, the loudest, or the most traditional.
It is the one that feels right in your home and supports the way you wish to remember someone you love.
Many families find that once they stop searching for the “perfect” option and instead focus on what feels comfortable and meaningful, the decision becomes much easier.
When you’re ready, begin there.